People from rural
towns always have the impression that people from the big cities are
“unfriendly” because we rarely (if ever) wave to strangers as we drive down the
highway.
And it’s true.
Waving to strangers that you pass on the highway is ridiculous in the cities;
you drive past thousands of people a day – you’ll give yourself carpel tunnel
waving at all of them. Plus, half of the drivers will think you’re crazy.
For the longest
time I couldn’t understand why complete strangers would smile and wave at me as
I was cruising down the road. Did I know them? Did they know me? Was it a case
of mistaken identity?
Going
off to college in a predominantly rural state meant I passed a lot of people
who waved at me as I stared back. It never really bothered me to ask anyone why
they did this until my junior year of college.
My
boyfriend is from the whopping huge town of Akaska ,
S.D. (population 42, but ten times that during fishing season). He has his
various opinions about us unfriendly city folk, and one of them is how rude we
are because we don’t wave. The first time he made this comment I was riding
along with him in his pickup truck.
“Maybe
they don’t wave because they aren’t use to it,” I suggested. “Not everyone was
raised to do that.”
“Well
it’s not like it’s that hard,” he said, mocking me as he waved both his hands
in the air, only stopping when the unmanned steering wheel started moving us
into oncoming traffic.
“I’m
not saying it’s hard, I’m just saying that some people might not know what
you’re doing. They’re probably wondering who the big ugly stranger is that’s
waving at them.”
I
got a dirty look for this comment, but was unrelenting. “I never knew why strangers were waving at me.”
“Well
now you know,” he said, making his point by waving to someone passing us by.
“They ain’t mistaking you for anyone; they’re just trying to be friendly. And you are being rude by not being friendly
back.”
Feeling
a little bad for slighting all of these strangers for so many years, I resolved
to learn the art of waving – South Dakota-style. Rule one: never take your full
hand off the steering wheel – you look too eager. Rule two: Make a choice early
on and stick with it – are you waving with all five fingers? One finger
(preferably not the middle one)? Two fingers? Rule three: try to smile, or at
least look kind of friendly. The effect should be something that looks
completely natural.
I’ve
been working on this for half a year now, and I never look natural. When I’m in
Aberdeen , I never wave – too many
people. Once on the open road, I get so caught up in my music or day dreaming
that I don’t notice a car is coming until they’re right beside me. Too late
then. It’s even worse when they pass you, waving their friendly wave, and you
notice only a split second beforehand; far too short a time to react
“causally.”
Once, for a whole
two hours coming home from my boyfriend’s place, I never removed my hand from
the top of the steering wheel. I waved at every single person that passed me. I
don’t think many even saw me in my low-riding Ford Thunderbird. Some looked but
did nothing. There were a few, though, that waved back.
And every time I successfully waved South Dakota-style
(even though I still looked pretty awkward) I smiled and felt like I had
achieved something.
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